Understanding Shyness and Social Anxiety

You might suffer from shyness and social anxiety if you have ever experienced fear in any of the following scenarios:  Asking the clerk or waitress at a store or restaurant to use the restroom; writing in public such as writing a check at the grocery store; speaking your mind to authority figures; public speaking or any other kind of performance; taking an exam in school or for professional certification.

What are shyness and social anxiety?

Shyness and social anxiety (sometimes referred to as social phobia), are characterized as an avoidance of being embarrassed or ridiculed by others and a desire to seek their praise or approval.  It is estimated that between 3% to 15% of all people have some degree of social anxiety, however, only one-quarter of them are seeking professional treatment for their problem.

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Who suffers from shyness and social anxiety?

Shyness and social anxiety cut across all gender, ethnic, economic, and cultural barriers.  Anyone can potentially develop a social anxiety condition.  Many professional therapists and psychologist believe shyness and social anxiety problems start around adolescence, with 40% of diagnosed cases having roots before the age of 10.

What is the difference between shyness and social anxiety?

Though similar, shyness is usually characterized by a mere avoidance or reluctance to participate in social activities.  With social anxiety, the dials of shyness are turned up and magnified to the point that the reluctance becomes a complete fear.

What are the physical symptoms and reactions to social anxiety?

Typically, someone with intense social anxiety will experience headaches, tight muscles, excessive sweating, or even blushing when they have to face a scenario that they fear.  Sometimes, it can even escalate to a full-blown panic attack.  Some people with social anxiety do not experience these symptoms though, and say that they only feel self-conscious or afraid.

It is common that people suffering from social anxiety will be sensitive about it and may be reluctant in admitting that they are afflicted by it.  If you suspect that someone you know may have a form of social anxiety, it is important that you are careful not to put them on the spot when talking about.  Be gentle and understanding, and with time, your friend may eventually confide in you.

What can be done to relieve shyness and social anxiety?

There are quite a few ways that you can begin to relieve shyness and social anxiety.  If you suspect that you condition is severe, you should seek out a professional therapist or counselor to help you start your path toward recovery.  The therapist or counselor will help you learn more about your condition  and give you tools you can use to help you control your anxiety and chart your progress.

Other means of recovery include challenging yourself to do small things that can eventually help you feel comfortable in situations you find challenging.  I personally worked through some of my social anxiety around meeting new people and asking women out on dates by challenging myself to walk up to 100 strangers in a week and simply say “hello.”  I learned to detach myself from any reaction they might have and I also (after about 50 or so people) learned to enjoy greeting people as I went about my day.

There are also lots of books and audio programs available today that can help people understand and overcome shyness and social anxiety.  Many of them are available on the internet and can be downloaded immediately as an e-book or mp3 file.

I hope this short Q&A has helped you better understand shyness and social anxiety, and if you think you may suffer from them, I hope it has given you the courage to take the first steps toward recovering and regaining your quality of life.

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